F5.

Yes, refresh. There are things that have been going on inside my mind for I don't know how many months now... more than 12 for sure. And when I say my mind, my emotions and even faith are all lumped in there together, it's my central processing unit. There is no concept of separateness, like logic and emotions when they are part of the same as what they have always been. It's just calling it the mind does not exactly capture it. Like soft rains when you're missing someone. Words are most always inadequate when it comes to describing what goes in our minds. And there's that word again. Mind, mind you.

F5. I found the refresh button of my mind; when I wasn't looking for it, when all this time I was looking for some sort of explanation as to how life had just happened, or how emotions are always different every year, even when you have the same name for each and every one that you had felt. I think it was just that my mind wasn't itself, and I felt sure that if I knew the reason why it was that way, it would be okay, that it would be the answer to itself.

F5. It was just that button, not that button farthermost, uppermost button in the right corner. It was not that goddamned button at all. It was not. It was Refresh and it wasn't just a flicker of the screen. It was flickering back on. Pretty weird to be knowing this and making this barest smile to myself, on an afternoon where I am weak with hunger, barely two hours sleep for the past 25 or more hours, with no sign whatsoever of any rain, and with the rent coming up, there are people I miss enough that it hurts everytime my mind touches on their memories. And I still managed this smile.

Refresh.